Mesfin Hagos joined the Eritrean war of independence in 1967 at the tender age of nineteen years. He rose to prominence and became an iconic figure of the nationalist movement by dint of his brilliance, strength of character, iron discipline, and tireless learning and self-improvement. He was at the scene during the most difficult turns and twists of the nationalist movement and led its most decisive battles. This book is as much the story of his life as it is an account of the Eritrean war of independence and struggle for freedom. It is a story of ungrieved losses and uncelebrated heroism. It is a tale of un-indemnified sacrifices and imperiled gains. The milestones of the nationalist movement and government came with its own unexpiated missteps. This book bears witness to all that and points toward a way out.

-from the introduction by Awet Tewelde Weldemichael.

This well-written book, by a true Eritrean hero, is a major contribution illuminating recent Eritrean history. In amazing detail and with striking humility, the author chronicles what took place in the battlefield and behind doors in the leadership circle during the long war with Ethiopia. He gives us a glimpse into how Isaias Afwerki concentrated power in his own hands, plunging Eritrea into an uncertain future. For anyone who seeks to understand what happened in Eritrea during the 30 years of liberation struggle and since, this is the book to read.

-Dr. Haile Debas, MD, Maurice Galante Distinguished Professor of Surgery, Emeritus, and University of California San Francisco former Chancellor

Anyone with an interest in the history of Eritrea and the wider region will welcome the appearance of this memoir. Mesfin Hagos was one of the most prominent figures in the EPLF and in the armed struggle which led to Eritrea's independence. He was at the center of a movement which remade the political landscape of the Horn, and his perspective on that history is invaluable. And as one of the current regime's leading critics, narrowly escaping the indefinite detention of many of his colleagues, his insights into the governance of independent Eritrea are of enormous significance.

-Richard Reid, Professor of African History, University of Oxford

Mesfin Hagos, a former Defense minister of Eritrea, provides a uniquely attained insider's view of the epic struggle, suffering and human loss that liberating Eritrea demanded, including internal political splits and tragic civil wars between different Eritrean factions. This dramatic, moving, and dazzlingly detailed memoir traces his humble upbringing and childhood with a widowed mother through his joining the ELF and later the PLF, where he rose to become a celebrated military strategist and the top commander of the Eritrean army. It also depicts the privations of life in the trenches and the overwhelming sense of loss of comrades, friends, and loved ones. The author discloses yet unrevealed record of disillusionment, criticism, and condemnation of the policies and practices of the post-independence Eritrean government, and the pathological narcissism, and the widely-known but here extremely-well illustrated biopower and Machiavellianism of President Afwerki.

-Ghirmai Negash, Professor of Postcolonial Literatures & Director of African Studies, Ohio University

AUTHOR

Mesfin Hagos is veteran of the Eritrean independence war and one of its military commanders.After independence, he served as minister of defense, among other roles. He was central to efforts of senior government officials to correct course of the country's president and rein in his tyranny.

Awet Tewelde Weldemichael is Professor and Queen's National Scholar at Queen's University,